So you're in love with a priest! Or you're in love with a lady in your parish?
Well being in love is something beautiful! One should thank God for that. A person is changed forever when it experiences love! Congratulations!
But you're telling me....What? But I love a priest who has promised celibacy forever?! I can't tell anybody about my relationship. I can't marry my man!
In the
case of the priest, he will be wondering that what to say to his superiors. He
would be imagining them as being very rough and telling him to stop seeing or
communicating with this person forever more........What will his family,
parishioners think of him now??
Well, we don't have magic solutions. People write to us from many countries. Every case is truly unique. Even in your case, there are consequences for the woman and consequences for the priest.
Let's make it clear. We never force anybody to abandon active priesthood or to love a priest. We simply lend an ear to each case without judging. The second step is to make the couple aware of possible solutions. But it is the couple which has to decide which way to move forward!
We love them and pray for them whatever road they'll follow. We respect each decision.
After some years of experience, we can simply help you by following some basic strategies although we still insist that the couple has to go for professional counselling.
Is it simply an affair or truly love? How can you distinguish between the two?
Is it the first love of your life?
How do you define love in your relationship?
What makes the other person so lovable?
Why do you feel the need for personal and intimate love?
Are you ready to face the consequences for such a bold decision?
Do you have any available house and job?
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The woman. Are you sure of his love to you? Has he decided to leave his parish ? Does he simply want some sex out of your relationship? Is he lonely? What's the difference between an attractive priest and a loving husband or father? Is he postponing his decision for an infinite number of times? How does he deal with emotions especially love? Do you really know your man?
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The priest.
Is she pregnant? Are you 100% sure? Are you simply using the woman for cheap sex? How well do you know your woman? How would you define your love for this special person? Are you ready to leave the parish? What about your parents? What are you going to do for a living? How do you view the church?
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As you can see, we have put forward some tough questions. But we feel the need
for such questions in order to avoid disappointments later in life. Obviously we
believe that when such a love is born between a woman and a priest, it will
never be forgotten! It has life long consequences no matter what decision do
they take (as in the case when the priest simply runs away!). We are sure that
even if the priest decides to abandon his lover, but this experience makes him
richer and more understanding.
The second question about married priesthood comes at a later stage. This is for
obvious reasons. First of all they need to make sure that they truly love each
other well. Secondly, if they chose to live together, after settling down (which
takes quite a while!), then, together they discuss if they simply want to live
together and take care of their family or offer their services as a married
priesthood couple! We don't take it for granted or force anybody to offer
married priesthood services. It has to be an inner call where one feels that God
is calling him to give his services to special people, especially those who live
outside the church.
Please help us to improve our above questions by sending us your feedback!